The first year is always the hardest when it comes to being a published author.
The first year is the one where you are filled with the most self-doubt. The sales reports come to dictate your mood and your outlook on your potential in this field. You feel like you have no idea what you are doing and why did you even try in the first place those books should have stayed filed away on your computer where they belong. You start to become that person you swear you are not; the one who cares what other people think. Because you do care about what other people think. You are transported back to the first day of high school wondering if anyone will like you.
And anyone who denies feeling this way is a liar.
But towards the end of the first year, you start to get it. You start to understand that you are new at being an author, and you begin to stop being so harsh on yourself. Because what you are doing is really, really hard and takes a lot of courage.