Confessions Of A Writer #15

I originally posted this on The Consultant (, one of my other blogs.  I’ll post it here too, though, because as I was writing it, I realized it is a Confessions Of A Writer post as much as it is a Consultant post.


Surround Yourself With Supportive People

Everyone needs support in their life.  And while the title of this post might seem obvious, the sometime reality for many of us is that the people we think are supportive, are there for us, turn out not be as supportive as we initially thought.

To achieve success as well as our maximum potential, we need to surround ourselves with truly supportive people.  People who bring constant positivity to the relationship rather than negativity.  Does that mean those people have to always be happy and smiling?  Of course not, but their conversations should not include criticizing you and not encouraging you.

Again, you might be thinking you know all this already.  But stop for a minute and think about the people in your life and really assess how supportive they are.  When you mention that you are taking on a new endeavor, doing something different or atypical of you, do they respond with encouragement or raised eyebrows and change the subject?

You do not want to lead a toxic life.  Toxic people lead to a toxic life.

I have talked about the importance of building connections with people and continually putting value into those connections.  You must give yourself permission to shut down connections with toxic people.  While it might seem going against the advice on connections, being connected to a toxic person will only impede your path to success.

Sometimes it’s hard because you’ve known the person for many years and remember that they weren’t always a toxic personality.  You refer to your history with the person to justify keeping the connection.  Yet history is the past and we live in the present with our relationships.  Yes, the person was not always a toxic person; hopefully that is an indication that they need to work out whatever is causing their present personality and change something within their life.  As long as the person maintains their toxic personality, you ought to avoid them.  You are not their therapist, or psychiatrist, or doctor; you are someone who supports them, but expects them to support you as well.  If they are in a negative state, they become a drain as you are supporting them but they are not supporting you in return.

Allow yourself to remove the negative in your life.  You deserve to be happy with the people in your life.


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