My Version Of A Love Triangle

I am reaching a very important point in my life.  That point is the place where I ultimately come to terms with my quarter-life crisis and solve it, making my decision in a very love triangle, girl must choose one boy to be with, sort of way.

See, post-college I was just hoping to get a job, like, anywhere in this sucktastic economy.  In my fairy-tale like recent post-college haze, I figured this job would come and that I would have this job all while focusing on my fiction because writing fiction was the choice I made post-college.

I applied to grad schools, didn’t get in, decided it was a sign that the Universe really wants me to focus on writing fiction as my path in life.

So I did.

A year later, guess what happened/is happening?

I am going to apply to grad school.  Again.

I should note that this time around it’s different because I am a lot more serious about grad school than I was the first time I applied.  I am reaching out for help, not afraid that I might be bothering those former professors (hey, remember me?), and I am applying to more programs this time around since PhD programs are SUPER competitive.  Especially where I am applying with my BA instead of applying with an MA.  And I went to a state university.  Oh, and did I mention that the schools I am applying to are not only very competitive and hard to get into because they are PhD programs to begin with, but also because they are top rated English graduate programs?

I am the underdog.  Hopefully one of these programs will recognize that this underdog is stronger than most of the other dogs in the competition and should totally be accepted into the doctoral program.

Where was I?  Oh, right, the epic love triangle decision of my life.  On the one hand, I have the continue to seek employment while concentrating on writing figure.  That was the decision I basically went with after I graduated from college.  On the other hand, I have the go to grad school while writing as more of a hobby figure.  After thinking Option A was the one I wanted to be happy with for my life, I realize that I am not that happy with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love writing fiction; to me, it’s fun.  But grad school, pursuing my academic interests…I’m realizing that’s where my heart truly is.

In the love triangle model, the doctoral program is the boy the girl chooses in the end while writing fiction is the boy the girl didn’t choose, but who remains friends with.  And, yes, I realize that sounds very much like Twilight.



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