Confessions Of A Writer #20

We all lose it sometimes.

I lost it at work the other day when a student began shrieking (can hear the student outside in the back of the building very clearly, shrieking).  Knowing that there were other staff in the room, I told one of them I needed to leave and walked back into my room.  My supervisor stared at me confused, and I said “I can not take that screaming.”  My supervisor gave me the “what the hell is your problem” look and harshly said how I would need to get another staff member to go in there then.

Following a very bad meeting with my supervisor that afternoon where words were exchanged by both sides (and my low opinion of her became even lower), I returned home.  That’s when I realized that I had officially lost it at work.

Upon realizing I had lost it, I was consumed with a mix of fear and “hell yeah, I stood up for myself.”  And after those two emotions battled it out, the pride in standing up for myself won out.

Because that’s the thing about losing it: sometimes we need it.  I needed it that day for me to fully accept that the current job I am working is not the right fit for me and that there are indeed other things out there I should be pursuing in lieu of letting the misery I feel about the job cloud out the things I like to do.  But beyond that, I needed to lose it to be inspired to go after those things that make me happy.

So, go ahead: lose it.  You never know what you’ll find in return.

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