I don’t often like to talk openly about religion because I’m aware that religion is a sensitive topic area for a lot of people. Since it’s Christmas Eve though, I figured it would be okay.
Without going into my religious affiliation, I will say that I believe in God, that I have a very close relationship with God, and that my belief in God/my spirituality is extremely important to me. And so today, Christmas Eve, I reflect on my spiritual beliefs throughout the day as a kind of subconscious meditation on my faith.
When I took a course on Early American Literature in college, we studied Puritan authors. I remember the professor explaining one of the works, saying that for the Puritans faith was like a roller coaster; there were the high points followed by the low dips followed by the high points again. As I think over my faith this past year, I am aware that the roller coaster model could very well fit my own cycle of faith; that there were the high, adamant times as well as the low, uncertain ones.
I have decided to let go of the low. To let go of any lingering feelings of disappointment, anger, bitterness, sadness, despair…well, you get the point. I am letting go of the low so that I can try to escape from the roller coaster model in favor of more even walking ground, so that when I say I am thankful for God I say it without any harbored negativity.