Project Thankful: Reason #89

I had to get a new phone last week because my other one was malfunctioning.  At first, I thought none of the data from my old phone had transferred over to the new phone, and I was panic stricken that my information was lost forever.  Well, I wasn’t worried about most of the presumed lost data; just my pictures.

I love taking pictures.  I am not the best photographer, but I try to capture moments and images with people I care about.  Since I always have my phone on me, taking those pictures with my phone is the most convenient way.

The problem is what happens to those pictures after I take them.  They sit around on my phone and on my computer, in a kind of storage, untouched.  Photos are meant to be saved; just not on devices.

This weekend I am going to print out selected pictures and put them in a photo album; that way, they’ll actually be saved.

Project Thankful: Reason #88

Yesterday, I went home in the morning to do errands.  Although I had only been gone for a couple of days, I felt relieved to go home.  My home is like my anchor, the place I can always go back to and feel grounded.

As I look at the major life decisions I will have to make in the near future, I realize I crave stability.  I want my life to have a series of anchors.

Project Thankful: Reason #86

Yesterday, I began dogsitting for a family friend.  I’ve watched this dog before, and I always enjoy watching her because she is such a good dog.  Her mom comes back Friday which means my job for the rest of this week is to be this dog’s caretaker (she’s almost 13 and is a little wobbly).

I’m glad to be busy this week because it will give me time to (hopefully) work on my novel, the sequel to The Hunted.  This week will also give me time to really think about the decision I wrote about in my previous posting: if I should get the MA and teach at the high school level; or, if I should ultimately go on after the MA to get the PhD to teach at the college level.  I still have to finish hearing back from schools, but most likely I will be starting a terminal Masters program in the fall.  Which brings me back to my original dilemma.

Good thing I still have a few days.

Project Thankful: Reason #85

On Saturday, I went into Boston to help babysit my cousin while his dad was at a conference.  Throughout the day, we walked around the Prudential Center and Copley Square, and I quickly learned that my cousin’s conference was not the only event taking place in that area on Saturday.

As we strolled, I noticed the badges many of the conference people were wearing stated an event that was heavily related to academia.  Looking at the attendees, I felt detached from academia and was not sad about that.  

When I think about the mistake the university made, initially telling me I had been accepted into their PhD program when in fact I had been accepted into their MA program, I wonder if it was a sign in a way.  To be honest, when I read that I was accepted into the PhD program, I was elated; on the other hand, inside a part of me was “oh.”  The mistake had made me pause and really take time to reflect on what it is I want.  Definitely to go to grad school, but at what point to stop: at the MA, and get my certification to teach high school English; or, at the PhD, and teach at the college level?

Project Thankful: Reason #84

Yesterday, I received an email informing me that a decision had been made regarding my application to one of the schools I applied to.  I opened up my account and read the letter.  Clearly stated in the first line of the letter was that I had been accepted into the school’s English PhD program.

I was elated.  PhD!  I had originally applied to the school’s English PhD, but was told by the administrative assistant for the English Department that there was no way I could apply for the PhD program with a BA.  That was back in December, so I when I received the letter I believed they had changed their minds because, gosh golly, the letter said PhD!

I emailed the Director of Graduate Studies for the English Department to thank her for the opportunity as well as to ask her some questions about the program.  Unfortunately, she responded back to tell me there has been a misunderstanding and that I was accepted into the MA, not the PhD program.  Even more unfortunate was her tone in the curt email.  Her response was unprofessional to say the least, and it has made me question why I would even want to go to that school.

I need to be thankful about something today.  I need to find some positive in the midst of this day which is turning out to reflect the foggy and gloomy weather outside.  So I guess what I am thankful for is that I’m secure enough not to feel all “I’m not worthy!” in reaction to her email.  Instead, my reaction is that I deserve better.  

It still hurts though.  That’s why cookie dough and sangria are such wonderful things…

Project Thankful: Reason #83

Well, I didn’t win Powerball last night.

I woke up this morning, looked up what the winning numbers were, and knew that those numbers were not my numbers.  Not even close.

To me, I’ve won the lottery already.  Even though my bank account is on the small(er) side, my life is rich because I am surrounded by love.  I’ve seen an unfortunate number of people who can’t say they have people in their lives who truly love them and care for them; I am lucky to say I do have people who love me and care for me.  An enormous lump sum of money could never replace that love.  It’s love that enriches my life, not money.

Project Thankful: Reason #82

Yesterday, I had to complete a Teaching Assistant application for one of the graduate programs I applied to.  By the time I emailed my application, the document was 6-7 single-spaced pages.  Somehow I feel like I gave them more than they expected.

The application was a wonderful opportunity for me to showcase my experiences working in Education.  As I was writing my answers, going into details about specific experiences I have had, I felt proud of my life.  I certainly did not expect to be at the place in my life where I am currently or to have had the experiences I have, but I am so thankful that my life turned out completely different from what I thought it would be.

I have a life that I view as valuable.  Valuable experiences, valuable insights, valuable knowledge, and valuable uniqueness.  When I reflect back a couple of years ago and how I envisioned my life to be now, the image I saw back then lacked value.  The reality now is filled with it.

Project Thankful: Reason #81

When I met up with my friends on Monday, one of the topics we discussed was post-college life.  More specifically, how different we were when we were in college compared to how we are today.

“I don’t know, I just feel like when we were in college we kind of thought the world revolved around us in a way,” one of my friends said.

“I agree,” I replied.   “It was like we were each in our own bubbles, separate from the world.”

The thing about being out of college is that those self-absorbed (as harsh as that sounds) bubbles burst in the face of having to care about someone other than yourself.  For me, that had to do with working with students.  Suddenly, there were all these individuals who I was responsible for, even if it was for only 45 minutes at a time.  

The world will not give way to the will, desires, and wants of a single person.  At some point a person has to allow their life to be one that moves with the world rather than live in the folly that the world moves according to their life.