Today, I met up with my aunt and my cousins to celebrate my aunt’s birthday. While we were walking, one of my cousins asked me about the most recent grad school I have been accepted into, inquiring about how much attending this particular school will cost. I simply said with a laugh, “I don’t know.”
What I do know is if this grad school is the one I ultimately choose to attend, it will be very expensive, and I will have to take out more student loans to pay for the costs. I don’t know exactly how much this school costs, and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to pay for it, and I don’t know if my life will ever feel stable. In short, I just don’t know.
I’m thankful to say that I’ve come to accept this state of not knowing, as frustrating and upsetting as it is. It’s ultimately during the uncertainty, the not knowing, the most interesting parts of life happen. The unexpected comes into being, and it’s kind of awesome.