Project Thankful: Reason #175: On Loving Smarter

I’m friends with one of my ex-boyfriends, and we still talk on a semi-regular basis.  By talk, I mean text about “Game of Thrones” and about how our jobs are going.  Ah, friendship in the 21st century.

This ex-boyfriend is the One You Wonder About.  He’s the “What if?” ex-boyfriend.  “What if things had been different?”  “What if the Universe is trying to tell me that I’m meant to be with this person because he always seems to be there?”  *In this ex-boyfriend’s case, “there” refers to going to the same middle school, high school, and college as me along with still living nearby post-college.

I’ll be celebrating a significant birthday in a couple of months.  The type of significant that causes one to undergo a lot of reflection.  For me, that reflection involved this ex-boyfriend.

Here’s what I’ve found, not just from my experiences with this particular ex-boyfriend, but from other relationships and dating experiences as well.  To answer that “What if the Universe is trying to tell me we’re meant to be?” question, if two people are really meant to be together, they’d be together.  No wondering, no “what ifs?”  To answer the first question, “What if things had been different?” then maybe.  But things being different wouldn’t have been enough; we would have needed to be different.  

Simply put, we want different things in life and back when we dated, some part of us knew that too.  We’re headed in different directions and that’s how it’s supposed to be because those different directions lead to our different versions of happiness.

I’ve learned to love smarter.  To step back and take my time to see if someone’s vision of happiness is similar to my vision of happiness.


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