Summer Writing and Realizations

I feel guilty because I haven’t done much writing this summer (or, err, well, in a while, shall we say). Between finishing and graduating from my M.A. program, moving, finding a job, getting ready to move again, and trying to relax a little, I have not been keeping up with my writing. I have, however, still done some writing and with the summer slowly coming to a close, I figured I would share some of it. So here is my summer realization (one of many):

I realized that I do not regret being single.

I made a list of names of the guys I’ve dated. Then I made a list of names of the guys I’ve been in relationships with. I looked t the lists, and I asked myself, “Is there a name on either list that I regret no longer having in my life? Someone I would be willing to give another shot to?”

The answer to both questions was a firm “No.”

The answer resulted from examining each name, recalling the individual, and assessing how things ended with them. One propositioned me in Boston Common for a friends with benefits relationship and upon rejection of said proposition, promptly left me to walk through the Common to the Park Street Station by myself – at night (this was before Pokemon Go came on the scene and groups of people trying to catch Pokemon made the Common slightly more safe). Another informed me that anything we started would have an “expiration date” of September when my graduate program resumed.

Then there was the one who texted me five months after our first date to ask me out again. He didn’t explain the time lapse or why he would not return texts I sent him, attempting to maintain communication. I tried to give him another chance. I told him I’d be open to some of the dates he asked me on, only to realize those dates would entail me making most of the effort and travel. I declined said dates, citing inconvenient commutes. The more accurate truth was that I was inconvenienced by his insistence on his convenience. Despite telling me that he was looking for something that lasts, I began to see that a relationship with him would only last if I were willing to accommodate him without room for me.

I realized that I was fine with not hearing from him again, that I would instead be perfectly content by myself. It was the summer, and I was single. I had my books, the beach, and my best friends if I needed company. No boys needed.

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The Jane Austen Social Scene Part VII: John Willoughby

Oh, wow, have I been absent from the blogosphere! I just realized my last post was back in May, and I am officially embarrassed!

Seeing the date of my last post, I wondered, “What have I been doing all this time?” Well, I like to think that I have been out experiencing the Jane Austen Social Scene for myself this summer.

My experiences with dating and relationships could very well turn into excerpts for a book whose ideas for a title could include It’s Actually Not My Fault That I’m Single, Buttmachine* and Bike Helmets, and What To Do When Your Date Leaves You To Walk Back Alone At Night. Trust me, there are also other working titles and the chapters would be even better.

After taking a break from attempts at dating, I decided to give it a whirl again this summer. I tried different venues in the past from going to events to the slew of online sites, so I wanted to try a dating avenue I did not pursue before but had heard much about: Tinder.

I am an optimist. I see the best in people. I am honest, genuine, and direct. I apply the golden principle of “Treat others as you would want to be treated” to my interactions with fellow creatures.

Unfortunately, I can not say the same for others.

When I think over the dates and the people I have met because of Tinder, I likewise think about where in the Jane Austen Social Scene they would inhabit. And there is one character who comes to mind: John Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility.

Willoughby is a character who essentially leads Marianne on and ends up hurting her. He shows interest in her, they share common interests and engaging conversations, and he creates an implicit attachment between them. It’s also revealed that he got a girl pregnant, refused to take responsibility for his actions, and was disinherited as a result. His financial crisis leads him to needing to marry someone rich, which he does.

Now, the guys I met did not necessarily match Willoughby’s plot (thankfully) nor will the Willoughby type in general (at least I hope they don’t). The Willoughby guy is the type who at first presents himself as charming and expresses an interest. Once this interest is reciprocated, they give the appearance of a desire to get to know a person. This desire, however, has an ulterior motive to serve their own means which are usually selfish.

How does one deal with a Willoughby type? By having the good sense to exercise sensibility.

*Buttmachine refers to title of a song. No, I’m serious. Google “Buttmachine song” and see for yourself.

 

My Summer Bucket List: Project Thankful: Reason #205

June is practically over which is sad because it’s a reminder of how fleeting summer is.  With that in mind, I’ve decided to create a Summer Bucket List to make sure I make the most of what’s left of the summer:

1. Go to Canobie Lake Park

2. Have a beach day

3. Read 5 books before the start of September

4. Put together great lesson plans for classes

5. Go somewhere I’ve never been before

What’s on your Summer Bucket List?

Project Thankful: Reason #201

School is officially out!

I would say, “Let the celebrating commence!” but I’m still on the drained side.  The first few days after the last day of school make you realize how much energy you gave to students because you find yourself exhausted.

In a few days, I’ll be ready to celebrate.  For now, I’ll be spending my days reading, writing, and just keeping it low-key.

Project Thankful: Reason #182

I’m thankful that Summer will soon be here.  See for me, Summer is my season of inspired ambition, where fuel is added to my fire, and I find myself more driven than during any other season.

This year I am feeling particularly inspired because of my dad losing his job.  I’ve always had this underlying goal of building a flourishing writing career, and my dad’s unemployment has pushed me to aim towards making that more of a reality instead of simply a dream.

Just as I’ve reached the point where I can call myself a professional in the Education field, I want to reach the point where I can call myself a professional in the Writing field as well.

 

Project Thankful: Reason #162

Today, I went into Boston for a doctor’s appointment.  After the appointment, I grabbed lunch nearby and sat on a bench to eat.  As I was eating, I looked around at the gorgeous day it was in the city, at the trees, the sky, and just enjoying being in Boston on this day.  I thought about moving, and I expected to feel sad, to have some sense of not wanting to leave.  In moving, I’ll essentially be moving away from Boston, the city that I love.

What I felt, however, was peace.  I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be in my life.  And that’s not something to be sad about.